Driving in Haiti

I am so glad that I've had the experience of driving in PaP/Haiti (okay, okay, its not me doing the driving, I should say being driven, but that sounds too, I don't know... too... see, words fail me, ah well). Okay, so, here is what I've learned so far:

• A car horn (un klaxon en français) is absolutely necessary. If you do not have one, your vehicle is not fit to be on the road. A toot of the horn can have many, many significances. It can just mean "Hey!", or "I'm about to pass you", or "I just passed you", or "I let you pass me, you idiot", or, "Careful!", or "I'm about to turn in your direction", or "Go ahead.", or "Lookout, I'm here about to take this sharp turn uphill, if you are coming downhill fast, lookout for me!", last but not least, it can mean "Hey, I'm here, open the gate!".
• Sidewalks are really meant for parking your vehicle, not for walking.
• Lanes are totally optional.
• Priority? Everyone has priority at the same time!
• Cutting off someone really takes a new meaning here. Its almost like a game of chicken.
• Motor-bikes are used to slalom between moving cars. I think its a national sport.
• Its okay to leave your car to rot on the side of the street, hey, it adds decor!
• If you are a transport truck, and your truck breaks down, its okay to leave your load smack in the middle of the highway without any warning signs.
• If you are a shop owner, build a speed-bump in front of your commerce, you force people to slow down and they will be more likely to buy something from you!
• Seat belts are for sissys!
• Same goes for helmets!
• You can easily fit 15 to 17 people in the trunk of a little Nissan or Datsun pickup (hey, over here its called a Tap-Tap, and its part of the public transportation system.
• You are not a real driver unless you have more than one fender bender on your car. By the looks of it, Haitians are pro drivers!
• Any Haitian would beat you in a game of Frogger. Here, its completely natural for a pedestrian to cross the street during heavy traffic.
• Sidewalks are a great place not only to park your car, but you can leave your garbage and set up shop as well. Who knew?
• The black smoke being emitted by the vehicles is totally irrelevant.
• And, last but not least, if you are to be doing slalom with your motorcycle, why not do it with the whole family riding along with you on the bike!

These experiences are preparing me to be a better driver once I come back home.

P.S. These comments are made in jest. They are only meant to bring a smile to someone's lips. If you find this post offensive, let me know and I'll take it down promptly.

;-) LIL